April 11, 2009 · Uncategorized

I’ve come to the conclusion that when discussing super powers with people, everyone falls into one of 3 categories.

1) Those who want to use their powers for good.

2) Those who want to use their powers for evil.

3) Those who want to use their powers for convenience.

I love asking people the question “If you could have any super power what would it be and why?”  I think it tells you a lot about the person based on their answer.  My friend Matt wants to be able to manipulate time.  I like Matt.  He’s a good guy.  I’m pretty sure if Matt had the power to manipulate time he’s use it to save old ladies from getting run over by buses.  I think we can drop him into category 1.

I decided to ask my husband this very question just a few moments ago, and he said “Super strength.  because I want to be able to kick any one’s ass and not have to worry about getting hurt.”  My immediate thought was “Great…  I married a #2″ (LOL).  But he followed that up by saying “I would always use it for good.  Never evil.”  I’m going to have to keep an eye on him.

There’s always people who insist that invisibility is the ultimate super power.  I’ve categorized them as perverts, which automatically defaults to #2 (evil).  Everyone who mentions invisibility talks about sneaking into locker rooms of the opposite sex.  News flash:  Watching people get naked without their knowledge is weird.  I hope you invisibility weirdos accidentally stumble into a YMCA locker room after a senior citizen aquacise class.

Personally, I fall into category #3.  I want to be able to teleport.  Teleportation is hands down the greatest possible super power.  I’m quite certain I would pretty much only use it for convenience.  Late for work?  Not when you can teleport there!  Instead of waking up at 7:25am, taking the world’s fastest shower (that in itself is a super power) and running out the door by 7:50, I could sleep until 8:15, shower & then teleport to work by 8:30am.  I’d be the world’s most punctual employee!  Every weekend I would go somewhere awesome.  Instead of sitting around on a Saturday watching the grass grow, I’d teleport to China and have some tasty camel hump for dinner.  I have no idea if camel hump is actually tasty, but Jackie Chan ate it in Rush Hour 2, so it can’t be that bad…  Instead of calling my buddy Dan in Edmonton, I’d show up with some chicken and have a picnic.  He loves chicken.

I suggest you take a moment to consider a super power (if you haven’t already).  There are several to choose from, but please, choose wisely – lest you be labeled a pervert.  And yes, x-ray vision definitely bumps you into the pervert category.

Written by admin


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